Musical Burrito Theory

DISCLAIMER: None of this is proper music theory, for inspirational purposes only.

I grew up learning music was this boring thing I had to do in school: reading sheet music and playing the Oboe or the Alto Saxophone. When I was 16 I realized I wanted to play more than one note at a time and picked up an acoustic guitar.

Shortly after picking up the guitar I realized the way I had been taught music is not at all what music actually is. I realized I could just play any note I wanted, and I didn't have to follow sheet music! I dropped out of high school pretty quickly after having that realization 😂 I remember feeling my whole life had been a lie, and I had been brainwashed by the system to think like an uncreative zombie.

So I formed my own model of the guitar neck that was intuitive for me as a kid. I present to you my Musical Burrito Guitar Theory

Don't ask me why this is how I think about it, but it perfectly reflects the flavor of these notes in my brain while I'm writing. If you want to find a different key you simply slide the whole burrito over, the root of your tortilla (the first string note) is your minor key. Let's break it down:

THE TORTILLA

(video example)

It's the root of every successful burrito. This is 'home', it's where to return when lost, it's where the capo always seems to end up because its easy and delicious. In this analogy, the capo would be our toothpick:

When you want to know what a song tastes like, just grab the top 3 notes of the tortilla with your pointer finger and rip them off, I bet you can dip these notes in just about any song (as long as you're in the right key).

Want a little more flavor? Try adding a little cheese to your breaded dippins:

(video example)

I hope this makes any sense at all. These patterns fit just about anywhere I put them, filling yet tasty: bread.

Next up:

MAJOR CHEESE

It's called major cheese because it's all the notes from the Major penatonic scale, which is majorly cheesey sounding. I must clarify: CHEESEY IS NOT BAD, it's just cheesey. Cheese is easy to overdo because it's so damn delicious, you just need some other stuff to balance it out (carbs like bread or rice and beans).

Here's an example of going FULL CHEESE, the cheesiest chord in all of existance, this chord is like fried american cheddar sticks from Applebees. If someone plays this chord it's about to be a campfire sing-along:

And then there are finer cheese, with more nuance and complexity, something like a feta:

Or more muted flavor, something like a Queso de Bola (a delicious Edam cheese from the Phillippines with a mild nutty flavor)

Just keep in mind, the fancier the cheese the stronger the statement it makes on your whole dish, if it is too bold it will leave an empty space on the pallete if the following bite lacks its complex flavor.